Are YOU Emotionally INTELLIGENT????

By Jernavis Draughn

What is the definition of “Emotional Intelligence”? It is the ability to identify and manage your own emotions and the emotions of others. Simply put, emotional intelligence helps people control their impulses.

Learning how to deal with your anger, anxiety, uncertainty and sadness are essential elements of life. Our mood and thoughts are constantly changing. The ability to manage your emotions gives you a sense of control in your overall life. Emotional intelligence helps you handle and understand that failure is a part of the growth process. Daniel Goleman, who coined and wrote the book, “Emotional Intelligence”, said “ if your emotional abilities aren’t in hand, if you don’t have self-awareness, if you are not able to manage your distressing emotions, if you can’t have empathy and have effective relationships, then no matter how smart you are, you are not going to get very far”.

Emotional intelligence starts to develop in the earlier years. All the small exchanges children have with their parents, teachers, and with each other carry emotional messages. Daniel Goleman as quoted above goes on to explains that emotional ‘literacy’ implies an expanded responsibility for schools in helping to socialize children. This daunting task requires two major changes: teachers must go beyond their traditional mission and people in the community must become more involved with schools as both active participants in children’s learning and as individual mentors.

The value of becoming emotionally intelligent can help you grow in business, relationships and work. Master these 4 domains below and your life will be forever changed.

4 Domains of Emotional Intelligence:

  1. Self-awareness– The ability to recognize and understand personal moods and emotions.
  2. Self-management– The ability to control or redirect disruptive impulses and moods.
  3. Empathy– The ability to understand the emotional makeup of other people.
  4. Relationship/Social Skills– The ability to build and manage healthy relationships.

Quote of The Day: “Your intellect may be confused, but your emotions will never lie to you.”- Roger Ebert

 

3 Reasons “WHY” we ACT the way we do…

Are our behaviors and actions programed?  Are we programed by our upbringing? By family, friends or culture? Studies show we are all driven by six human needs: Certainty, Uncertainty, Growth, Significance, Contribution, Love/Connection.

One of these human needs inspires and motivates our daily actions. These needs propels us to reach what we truly want in life. “Learn to get in touch with the silence within yourself and know that everything in this life has a purpose.”-Elizabeth Kubler-Ross.  After reading the book, “The Thinkers Way, by John Chaffe, I learned there’s three reasons why people do what they do.

  1. Human Nature: People are born with certain basic instincts that influence and determine how they behave.
  2. Psychological Forces: People are governed by psychological forces, many of them unconsciously cause them to think, feel, and act in a certain way. These actions are direct results of deep psychological impulses that have been formed by an individual earliest relationships and experiences.
  3. Social Dynamics: We are social creatures that are greatly influenced by the people around us. The need to conform or be accepted by our peer groups and family, weighs heavily on most of our life decisions. These social needs determine our behavior and define who we are as an individual.

Take time to look at your daily habits, rituals, the people you hang out with, and your response when you get upset. These behaviors all stem from what you have been exposed to because we are all products of our environment. Aristotle said, “We are what we repeatedly do, excellence is not an act but a habit.”

Quote of The Day: “We don’t see things as they ARE, we see things as we ARE.”-Anais Nin

Book recommendation: The Thinkers Way: By John Chaffe

 

3 Ways EXERCISING Improves LEARNING!

By: Jernavis Draughn

In the book Spark by John Ratey, he explains the benefits of exercising and how it increases our learning ability. Physical fitness has a positive influence on memory, concentration and classroom behavior. Better fitness equals better attention and thus better results. Our brain is constantly being rewired with new information daily. In a study done at the University of British Columbia, researchers found that regular aerobic exercise, the kind that gets your heart and your sweat glands pumping, appears to boost the hippocampus, the brain area involved in verbal memory and learning.

There’s been many studies regarding the positive effects exercising has on the brain. You can start walking, jogging, or even signing up for a fitness class to start this process. Here’s some important facts that stood out to me from the book Spark, by Jack Ratey that provides a simplistic breakdown on how the brain works:

  • The brain has 100 billion cells
  • Serotonin, helps keep brain activity under control. It influences mood, impulsivity, anger and aggressiveness
  • Dopamine, creates happiness and excitement.
  • Norepinephrine, amplifies signals that influence attention, perception, motivation and arousal.
  • Prefrontal Cortex, is the boss of the brain. It controls your planning, judging and predicting.
  • Amygdala, part of the brain that controls what you fear or any intense emotional state or feeling.
  • Hippocampus, provides storage for long term memory. That includes all past knowledge and experiences.

Understanding how the brain works gives us clarity on what part of the brain helps us learn, focus, react and respond. Studies shows exercising and physical activity lowers stress and anxiety. It improves mood and overall psychological health. Exercising keeps the brain from rotting and reverses the cell deterioration associated with aging.

Here’s 3 Ways Exercise Improves Learning:

  1. It optimizes your mindset to improve alertness, attention and motivation.
  2. It prepares and encourages nerve cells to bind to one another. Which is the cellular basis for logging in “new information”.
  3. It spurs the development of new nerve cells from stem cells in the hippocampus.

Quote of The Day: “Learning never exhausts the mind.” -Leonardo da Vinci

Book recommendation: Spark, The Revolutionary New Science of Exercise and the Brain: By John Ratey

 

 

The $$$ Of Being SELF-DISCIPLINED: MUST READ!!

By: Jernavis Draughn

Without discipline, does anything in LIFE get accomplished? For example, building a healthy relationship or marriage? Completing school or work assignments? Losing weight? Reaching personal goals? Rate yourself on a scale from 1-10, how discipline are you? Jim Rohn once said, “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments.” I’m a firm believer that our ability to display discipline in the most vulnerable moments, will determine our successes in LIFE. Anything we label as valuable, demands consistent disciplined actions toward achieving it. Success demands SACRIFICE.

Why is it so hard to be disciplined? I believe discipline is connected to our personal VALUE SYSTEM. If something is truly important to us, we will FIND the MOTIVATION to accomplish it.

According to a 2013 study by Wilhelm Hoffman, people with high self control are happier than those without. The study discovered this is true because the self disciplined subjects were more capable of dealing with goal conflicts. These people spent less time debating whether to indulge in behaviors detrimental to their health, and were able to make positive decisions more easily. The self disciplined did not allow their choices to be dictated by impulses or feelings. Instead, they made informed, rational decisions on a daily basis without feeling overly stressed or upset.

All human actions are motivated by either not wanting to feel pain or to receive pleasure. To discover our personal motivators, we have to be consciously self-aware of what’s stealing our valuable time. Ex: Social Media, Television, Friends, Family, etc. Knowing the “Why” behind what you do, helps you become more discipline to say YES or NO toward the decisions we are making. If you’re struggling with some negative habits, then it’s time to implement an action plan that will help you become more disciplined in making better decisions.

Here’s 5 ways to increase your SELF-DISCIPLINE:

  1. Think about your OUTCOME before you make a DECISION.
  2. Remove TEMPTATIONS. (cell phone, sweets, tv, video game, etc). Turn them all off and focus on productive activities.
  3. Track Your Progress. The self-disciplined mind also thrives when it can see the progress it is making.
  4. Forgive YOURSELF and move FORWARD. Life is all about enduring failure. Failure is necessary for our growth. It is unhealthy physically and mentally to dwell on the past. Learn from it and try not to make the same mistake again.
  5. REWARD yourself. Feed your progress with an intrinsic or extrinsic reward.

Source: Merriam-Webster                                                                     Discipline Definition: Training that corrects, molds, or perfects the mental faculties or moral character.

Quote of The Day: “With self-discipline most anything is possible.” Theodore Roosevelt

3 Ways To Beat F.E.A.R One On One!

By: Jernavis Draughn

Each of us experience FEAR in our lives on a daily basis. With that being the case, how do we overcome fear? In order to answer this question, we have to define what FEAR is? The dictionary definition of fear states: Fear- is an unpleasant emotion caused by the belief that someone or something is dangerous, likely to cause pain, or is a threat.

Fear in its most basic form is an emotion, a learned behavior that protects us from the threats in our surroundings.  “Zig Ziglar states, “fear is False Evidence Appearing Real”.  Fear’s most obvious and primary target is our plan for success. Nevertheless, we create and feed our fears daily, which ultimately affect the direction of our lives. Here are a few human fears that hold us back from achieving what we truly want in life: failure, pain, rejection, ridicule, change and the unknown. We tend to lose sight that growth is the goal and if we are not taking some risk, then we are not growing. Here are three ways to overcome fear and become more comfortable doing the uncomfortable.

  1. Live in the UNCOMFORTABLE zone.

Push yourself daily to do something that makes you feel uncomfortable. Build your confidence through continuous repetition of living in the uncomfortable zone. Ex: Speak up at your work meetings, call an old friend or family member that ended on bad terms and mend that relationship, take the last shot in your game, Sky Dive, learn a new language, instrument or cold call a prospect.

  1. Remember “Experiments Never Fail”.

“Expeiments” are only learning lessons. Albert Einstein failed 1000 times before creating the light bulb. “If there is a will there is a way”. Continue your pursuit of that idea, scholarship, business plan, and work position, until you reach your goal.

  1. Failure is the ONLY way to reaching SUCCESS!

Remember failure is only feedback. Learn from your mistakes and try another way. People tend to give up after the first couple of tries and decide there is no way to accomplish the goal. If you’re not FAILING, then you’re not succeeding. Start taking more strategic risk today!

Quote of The Day: “Nothing in life should be FEARED, only understood.”- Marie Curie

Make sure you down load my FREE book, Athletes Global Body Watch: The 50 Best Exercises To Transform Your Mind & Body at: https://store.athletesglobal.com/

5 Reasons Why 24 Hours Is NOT Enough TIME!!


By: Jernavis Draughn

TIME is the kryptonite to every person walking the earth. The one GIFT in life that we can not get back!  We can’t buy MORE time, but we can SPEND it differently. What are you spending most of your time doing when you’re at work or at home? What are you focusing most of your attention on? We attract in our lives the things we want to focus on. Mastering our time is a daily discipline that has to be consistently worked on. The better question is, how do we maximize the 24 hours that we have in our day? I believe our day is decided by a few daily decisions, which creates the results of our daily output. Some experts say, “If you master your time you can master your LIFE!”

I have learned that the most successful people have daily rituals they perform to ensure their time is being used wisely and productively. I’m not saying we need to stop talking to people on the phone, hanging out with friends, and living a fun life. I’m encouraging you to be AWARE of how long and how often you’re spending time doing those activities. We have ONE LIFE and NO reset button on this game of “Time” we are playing. I’m learning the key to personal growth is knowing what NOT to do to become successful in a particular area. I hope the 5 reasons listed below will encourage you to create discipline and awareness in how you are spending your time.

Here are 5 reasons why we don’t master our 24 hour CLOCK:

  1. We don’t plan our day the night before.
  2. We don’t focus on “Priority tasks!”
  3. We don’t develop the ability to say NO!
  4. We love to procrastinate
  5. We socialize too much.

Quote of The Day: “Time is what we want most, but… what we use worst.”-William Penn