All behaviors are belief driven. Where do our behaviors and emotions stem from? We are a direct reflection of our home foundation and the environment we were raised in. Our peer groups, mentors, teachers, instructors, and coaches have left an imprint on our intrinsic personal landscape. We become who we hang out with most of the time. We pick up behaviors, habits and mindsets of the people closet to us. Angela Oswalt, who is a licensed clinical social worker explains during early childhood, children start to develop a “self-concept,” the attributes, abilities, attitudes and values that they believe define them. By age 3, (between 18 and 30 months), children have developed their Categorical Self, which is concrete way of viewing themselves in “this or that” labels. For example, young children label themselves in terms of age “child or adult”, gender “boy or girl”, physical characteristics “short or tall”, and value, “good or bad.” The labels are used to explain children’s self-concept in very concrete, observable terms.
Our self-concept, the preview of our identity is formed by 3 years old. With that being the case, the root causes of where our negative emotions are birthed, start from the time we are born. Over the course of our life, we pick up more baggage and beliefs that don’t serve us. In the book Get Smart, by Brian Tracy, he breaks down the 4 root causes of negative emotions.
- Rationalization. Negative emotions are created when we attempt to explain away a situation or behavior in our lives that is unpleasant for us. We rationalize things with excuses.
- Justification. We justify our negative behaviors by explaining them away in some fashion, we tell ourselves we are entitled to experience this negative emotion, because of something that someone else has done to us or to someone else.
- Judgementalism. Some of our negative emotions come from our tendency to judge other people. We tend to judge others instead of self-reflecting within ourselves.
- Hypersensitivity. We are hypersensitive to the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of others. We see criticisms and problems where they don’t exist.
I’ve learned the key to limiting negative emotions, while improving your self-esteem, confidence, reliance, respect is to take full responsibility for everything you are and all you will become in life. Remember, “Life is always happening for you, not to you.” Accountability is the foundation of all emotional, spiritual, mental, physical and financial success. Forgive yourself first and then forgive everyone else you feel has hurt you in anyway. Life begins with FORGIVENESS. Negative emotions will always be there to make your day eventful. How you respond and react to those emotions, will determine how happy your life will be.
Quote of the Day: “Don’t ever stop believing in your own transformation. It is still happening even on days you may not realize it or feel like it.” -Lalah Delia