Why you should THINK like a MONK….

By Jernavis Draughn

Charles Horton is quoted for saying, “I’m not what I think I am, and I am not what you think I am. I am what I think you think I am.” Our self-perception of who we think we are is sometimes based on how other people define us. We become what we believe and do. Writing a new story of who we want to become, is the first step to breaking negative beliefs we have about ourselves. You have to divorce your story and marry the TRUTH. They say the truth will set you free, I believe the truth creates clarity for you to live a narrower life. Therefore, I believe real freedom is having a true sense of “self-awareness”. It is acknowledging who you truly are, understanding your strengths and weaknesses, and beginning the process of working on them daily.

Fear. False. Evidence. Appearing. Real. Seneca believed we suffer more in imagination than reality. In the book, “Think like a monk”, by Jay Shetty, he defines our four key motivations for life:

  1. Fear. We are driven by sickness, poverty, and fear of hell or death.  
  2. Desire. We seek personal gratification through success, wealth, and pleasure.
  3. Duty. We are motivated by gratitude, responsibility, and a desire to do the right thing.
  4. Love. We are compelled by caring for others and the urge to help them.

There is a quote that says, “you can’t be anything you want, but you can be everything you are.” Shetty discusses a plethora of successful habits that can help you win the morning, overcome negative thoughts and beliefs, discover your purpose, build healthier relationships, gain more personal confidence, improve our character and much more.

Here’s a few key takeaways from the book:

-Your passion is for you, your purpose is for others.

-Location has energy; time has memory.

-Change happens with small steps and big priorities.

-We have seventy thousand separate thoughts daily.

-Our mind is consistently predicting what is going to happen next.

-You are who you are when no one is watching.

-People come into your life for a reason, season, or lifetime.

-Trust is a daily practice.

Five primary motivations for connection: physical connection, material, intellectual, emotional, and spiritual.

– “Love is the absence of judgement.’-Dalai Lama

-Until you heal your wounds from the past, you will continue to bleed.

-True service does not expect or even want anything in return.

“Think like a monk,” was a great read. We are all on the journey of discovering our purpose. We tend to chase meaningless possessions that do not help us become the best version of ourselves. Who we become is a direct reflection of who we believe we are. We become what we do. Life allows us to choose what path we want to take. Self-awareness is a superpower that most people will never cultivate. It is the GPS that helps you make better decisions and create a vision for your life. Self- awareness helps you find your purpose. Mark Cuban is coined for saying, “don’t follow your passion, follow your efforts”. If you fall in love with the process, your journey of personal growth will never end.

Quote of the Day: “Change begins with the words inside of our head.”

Why Arguments only lead to 3 things…

By Jernavis Draughn

Communication is the key to the heart. We can hurt or help someone through the words we choose to use in conversations. Words are the light to the mind. Wars, relationships, ideas, companies, careers, love, understanding, purpose, vision, emotions and growth start from the utterance of a single word. The bible says we speak life and death through our tongue. Are you aware of the power of the words you use in daily conversations with others or YOURSELF? In arguments, we tend to speak before thinking when our emotions are in the driver seat. We become blinded by our state of anger or fear and we lash out to protect ourselves. Then we blame our emotions for the reason behind our hurtful words. I’ve learned that hurt people hurt PEOPLE.

We all have been in toxic relationships that tested our character to remain calm or forgive that person. Ambrose Bierce once said, “speak when you are angry, and you will make the best speech you will ever regret.” Walking away is the hardest thing to do in the state of feeling disrespected. No one is bullet proof. Words leave lasting wounds when they are not healed by the shooter. When your caught up in the rapture of love, our feelings tell us a story that the person who has consistently hurt us by their words will change. People only change for two reasons; either they learned enough that they want to change or either they hurt enough that they have too. Arguments never choose a winner; they often leave both parties feeling lost.

In the book Crucial Conversations by Kerry Patters and Joseph Grenny, explain how arguments lead to three things:

1.Win– Our goal is to win the point of view or argument. Our focus is to win the argument in any manor, even if that demands you lying to be right.

2. Punish– Our goal is to harm the other person. Our focus is to verbally assault the persons character and intentionally hurt them.

3. Keeping the Peace– Our goal is to avoid the possibility of an uncomfortable conversation. Our focus is to brush the issue under the rug to not be seen or heard. We feel uncomfortable with confrontation and hold our feelings inside.

One of the best methods to having a healthy disagreement is to practice effective communication. Where you listen first, with the intent to understand where the person is coming from. You should seek to understand then to be understood. People don’t care how much you know until they know how much you care about them. To take flight or flight in an argument, are both motivated by fear. When you embody fear in an argument, you tend not to express how you truly feel to that person. The fear of expressing yourself stems from the feeling of being rejected or judged. People become defensive in arguments, when they no longer feel safe. In any argument the goal is to make the person feel safe to express themselves. Practice honest and open communication in all relationships. People will respect you more and know where you always stand on any topic. Lastly, treat people how you want to be treated through your words and actions. That’s the only way we can truly value someone is by how we treat them.

Quote of the Day: “If you don’t want to be in an argument with someone, it is probably best to try to solve the problem, rather than lying around hoping the other person will do it for you.”-E. Lockhart

Five Factors shown to IMPROVE your well-being

By Jernavis Draughn

What does well being mean? The dictionary defines it this way, “it’s the state of being happy, healthy, or prosperous”. When do you feel the happiest or healthiest or prosperous in your life? What actions are you doing daily that creates a positive feeling in any of these areas? What we do daily determines our worth. When we live our core values we attract more things that gives our lives meaning. In the book “Think Small”, by Owain Service and Rory Gallager, they discuss 5 actions that will help improve your life’s well-being.

  1. Strengthening your social relationships. We become the people and things that we associate with most. We are the sum total of the 5 closet people we spend our time with. When we choose wisely the company we keep, our personal growth is expedited. Listen to only voices of value!

2. Getting healthier and active. Our body is our temple. We must feed our mind and body healthy fuel in order for it to perform at a high level.To keep the body in good health is a duty, otherwise we shall not be able to keep our mind strong and clear.”-Buddha

3. Learning something new. Commit to lifelong learning. Becoming a person of value requires you to never stop growing. “Try Not To Become a Man of Success But Rather Try To Become a Man of Value.”-Albert Einstein

4. Being more curious. What types of things sparks your interest? What inspires and motivates you? What is another stream of revenue that you could focus on building? What can you do today that will help you reach that goal faster? The quality of your thinking determines the quality of your life.

5. Giving to others. The secret to living is giving. We reap what we sow. In order to move forward we have to give back. The law of reciprocity means, when someone does something nice for you, you will have a deep-rooted psychological urge to do something nice in return. “We rise by lifting others.”-Robert Ingersoll

What we do today will either empower or restrict us tomorrow. We are creatures of habit and our well-being is connected to what we do daily. What we eat, the amount of work we accomplish, how often we exercise, and the people we connect with socially, emotional and spiritually. All of us have the same amount of time daily to produce the results we want in our lives. Take time out today to look at these five areas of your life to ensure they are meeting your standards on all levels. Remember, our time is our most precious gift, and all of us MUST be selfish with it.

Quote of the day: “Act as a master of your life by putting your health, well-being, and happiness FIRST.”-Marianna Olszewski

Why success in ANYTHING starts with COMMITMENT!!

Commitment opens the door to achievement. Most people are interested and not committed to anything in life. Success in anything will first start by you making the decision to fully commit to the process. In order for you to progress in your career, business, marriage or relationships, you will have to endure the process. However, expect the process to create a certain level of pain, uncertainty and fear. We tend to look for the shortcut to solving problems that arise in our life. The overnight and quick fix approach, instead of having unmovable FAITH and believing it shall pass. I believe before you become committed to anything you have to discover your “WHY”. They say if your why is powerful, the how is easy. In the book, Your Best Year Ever, by Michael Hyatt, he states, “you need autonomous motives. This idea relates to “the things that we find deeply and personally compelling to us”. You have to ask and answer this question, why does it matter to you? Without commitment you won’t start, without consistency you won’t finish.

People lose their way when they lose their WHY. Commitment starts with a thought, which leads to a decision where you finally taking action. Until you take action on that thought or idea, you’re not fully committed. The truth of the matter is, you’re either all in or NOT. There’s no option “B”, when you’re committed to making option “A” work. People often tell me I’m crazy and I respond to them by saying, no, I’m crazy committed. I only have one option for Athletes Global Corporation, which is reaching the highest level of success in our industry. As individuals, we have free will to decide on committing to reaching our goals or not.  You have to be willing to do, learn, study, or whatever is required to ensure your success.

Here are a few questions that will help you discover what you’re committed to:

What excites me now?

What so exciting to me that I would do anything to accomplish it?

What do I want to be remembered for?

What makes me feel good?

What gives me energy?

If I know I couldn’t fail, what would I do?

If I could be known for one great thing, what would it be?

These questions are from the book “Be obsessed or average”, by Grant Cardone. I recommend   reading this great book. It has helped me gain clarity on what I am to be committed too.

Finally, our passion is a preview to our purpose. Your purpose is waiting on you to discovery it. The moment you do, you will know what you’re truly committed too!

“The quality of a person’s life is in direct proportion to their commitment to excellence, regardless of their chosen field of endeavor.”-Vince Lombardi

The $VALUE$ in LEARNING!

By Jernavis Draughn

What is the real currency in LEARNING? They say the more you learn the more you earn. There is no price tag on the amount you can learn in your personal space of gifting. We all have been blessed by God to use and help people in the world with our gifts. The most important DAY in our lives are, when were born and when we discover WHY. The most successful  financially, mentally, emotionally and spiritual people are committed to lifelong LEARNING. They invest time, and place VALUE in the process of learning. Oprah Winfrey contributes her personal success to what she learned from mentors, friends, family members, books she’s read and life experiences. Learning have to become an intricate part of your daily rituals and daily schedule. Creating a personal growth plan and making it a daily goal to learn something new, will improve your overall life.

Listening is the only VEHICLE to learning. It is the major reason why schools are one of the biggest businesses in the world. As a student you go to school to LISTEN first, then respond and ask questions to engage in the lesson. For you to learn anything, you have to listen first. One common reason relationships DO NOT endure and our divorce rate continues to increase, is because we fail to hear and listen to our partner. We are so quick to respond or rebut, because of our “selfish gene”. We NEED to focus on learning our partner in order to understand what they value, what their needs are, and what are their beliefs and love languages. “Any fool can know, the point is to understand.”-Albert Einstein

Lastly, Learning is the only true path to WEALTH. Warren Buffett once said, you have to define your circle of competence.” That takes mastery. Learning yourself and learning what you believe you can become really good or great in. You must sit down and study your craft in order to understand what area you want to master. Learning increases the opportunities of you becoming more successful in anything you do.

I am concerned about the school system because I think it is flawed on the methodology of HOW they are teaching students. I believe you have to value, then be influenced and lastly inspired by something/someone in order to truly enjoy the learning process.

If you ask a person why they decided to learn a particular topic, they usually will tell you how it made them feel, how it changed their state, how it improved their life, their relationships, how it caused them to grow, how it help their understanding of things, or how it influenced their belief. Before learning occurs, you first place value on the topic and the person you’re learning from. Then you choose to listen to them, take notes, and focus more on the point they are making. It’s called “Active Listening”, where you listen with the intent to understand. You value what that person is saying. This is why mentors and parents are so essential to personal growth.

I suggest that we commit to lifelong learning today or be left behind. Information is coming at a very fast pace these days and so you have to be a continuous learner in order to keep up with the times. Those who value learning the most will remain successful and will become pioneers through understanding the constant innovations of an ever changing world.

Quote of the Day: “Don’t Just”

Don’t just learn, experience.
Don’t just read, absorb.
Don’t just change, transform.
Don’t just relate, advocate.
Don’t just promise, prove.
Don’t just criticize, encourage.
Don’t just think, ponder.
Don’t just take, give.
Don’t just see, feel.
Don’t just dream, do.
Don’t just hear, listen.
Don’t just talk, act.
Don’t just tell, show.
Don’t just exist, live.
― Roy T. BennettThe Light in the Heart

Mission vs Vision…?

By Jernavis Draughn

What’s the difference between a vision and a mission? The bible says, “Where there is no vision people perish.” Our life’s vision provides clarity for the mission AND direction we undertake. But destination leads our direction. It governs our behavior, which creates our daily habits. This is the reason our DECISIONS dictate our DESTINY. Let’s break down the difference between both in effort to gain more understanding on WHY both are necessary in reaching our GOALS. Remember, reasons come before results. If our WHY is powerful, the how is easy. In the book, Leadership by Alison and David Price, they explained the difference between the two:

A vision, is where you aspire to be in the future. Your vision summarizes what you’re aspiring to achieve.

A mission, is what you aspire to do, your purpose for being on this earth. Your mission summarizes your purpose.

What is your life mission? What compelling vision do you have for your life? Hence, this is the reason we need daily, quarterly and yearly goals. Intrinsic motivation is the one thing that inspires us to become better human beings in the journey to reach our goals. It is the hunger to solve a problem that the world hasn’t found the answer too.

Examples: food and water security, free health care, lack of economic opportunity and unemployment, poverty and inequality are just a few of these things.

The list can run as long as the Amazon River. The point I’m making is, some of the best business ideas come from unsolved problems. My vision and mission for my life is connected to helping others grow emotionally, spiritually, mentally and financially. They are intertwined with each other, because my WHY is connected to giving.

I’ve learned success without fulfillment is the ultimate failure. We were created by GOD to be givers and to help other people! The major key is to discover what your gift is, then finding how you can use it to help the world become a better place. That takes time, self-discovery and pondering about what your strengths are and what you want your legacy to be when your story ends.

 Quote of the Day: “The secret to living is GIVING.”-Tony Robbins

Self-DISCIPLINE equals Self-LOVE……

By: Jernavis Draughn

Success in anything starts with self-discipline. The ability to self-govern your mind and actions is essential in order to reach your full potential. Are you able to say “NO”?  It is probably one of the hardest words to say when your will power is being tested. Especially if the decision is connected to one of your six human needs that drives your life (Certainty, Uncertainty/Variety, Significance, Growth, Love/Connection or Contribution). We yearn for distraction and crave for personal acceptance by others. This type of behavior affects our will power to make the right decision. Jim Rohn once said, “Discipline is the bridge between goals and accomplishments”.

I struggle with sustaining long periods of discipline throughout my day. When my mind becomes cluttered and need a water break or just decides to sub itself out of the game, I tend to have a conversation with myself to refocus my mind back to my overall goals for the day. I constantly review my goals in order to provide clarity on where I am going and the actions I need to take to achieve them. The amount of self-discipline equals the amount of self-love you have for YOURSELF. We allow social media, television, video games, cell phones and PEOPLE to distract us from being productive, and thereby causes us to make regretful decisions. We also allow instant PLEASURES, to win over feeling lasting PAIN in the future that may be necessary for us to grow. We must all choose one of two pains: PAIN of discipline or the pain of REGRET!

I believe self-discipline starts first, with LOVING yourself and having standards that you live by. There is not a 5 step method that teaches you how to discover self-love. YOU must first get to know God. And in doing so, you will discover what you stand for, what you believe in, and a  clear understanding of your personal values and purpose.

Every moment is a memory. We are defined by our words and actions. I believe you should always think before you speak, ponder before you take action and live your TRUTH! The difference between WHO you are and WHO you want to be is WHAT YOU DO!

Quote of the Day: “Self-trust is the first secret of SUCCESS!”-Ralph Waldo Emerson

Are you reaching your Personal POTENTIAL??

 

By Jernavis Draughn

What is our personal potential? Do you believe you’re reaching it on a weekly or daily basis? I think we underestimate what we can truly achieve mentally, physically and financially. Innately we are programed mentally to desire daily growth. Human beings are created to grow in all aspects of our lives. Imagine if God created us and we weren’t able to grow in relationships, learn more, and push the culture forward. Imagine if Thomas Edison never believed in his potential to create the incandescent light bulb? Imagine if Martin Luther King never believed he could lead the civil rights movement, help end racial discrimination and segregation in the United States. Lastly, imagine if Alexzander Graham Bell, never created the first telephone? Where would humanity be if we weren’t able to communicate with people at any time all over the world?

Most people are doing well as they want to do. In phycology, the Pygmalion effect, reveals that higher expectations lead to better performance. Les Brown says, “Life has no limitations, except the ones you make.” We must raise our personal standards. Define what we want our life story to tell. The goal is to make your best better. In the book, “The Potential Principle, by Mark Sanborn, he explains there two paths to improvement:

Matrix Improvement– Means understanding and practicing these four areas: thinking, performing, learning and reflecting. It’s about increasing your focus, while increasing your skills.

Breakthrough Improvement– Means consistently using a small set of tools, steps that will prevent complacency, create improvement and bust through barriers.

Here’s 4 key steps to help you improve daily:

  1. Disrupt yourself (Before someone else does). Make the decision to intentionally improve in some facet of your life daily.
  2. Re Focus. Create a focus hack that will help you regain focus on what’s most important in your life. That can be leaving your cell phone in another room while you’re working, creating an accountability chart or waking up earlier to get a head start on your day.
  3. Engage others. Find and hangout with people that are committed to improving like yourself. You become who you hang out with!
  4. Expand your capacity. Read more, attend personal development workshops or seminars, practice and prepare more on the areas you want to improve in.

We must focus on combating comfort to overcome complacency. Leaving our comfort zone of pursuing balance and becoming committed to getting better daily. Track your progress to ensure your moving the needle forward. Not all change is growth, but all growth is change. As Dr. Ben Herbster once quoted, “the greatest waste in the world is the difference between what we are and what we could become.” Remember in life, we don’t get what we want, but what we DESERVE!

Why GROWTH Is The Number One GOAL!

By Jernavis Draughn

Over the years I’ve learned that setting goals are essential to achieving anything you want in life. It’s truly the Holy Grail to becoming successful in work, business, relationships, personally and health. It is a well thought out concept, where you spend time creating the things you want mentally for your life and writing it down. This triggers your mind to begin discovering ways on how you can reach those goals. There is a part of your brain called the “RAS”, reticular activating system, which directs or tells you what you should be focusing on.

For example, have you ever noticed when you buy a new car you tend to notice or see that new car on the road more often when driving? That’s the RAS part of your brain that controls what you value and focus on. The RAS helps you see what you want to see and in doing so, influences your actions.

Wherever our focus goes, “GROWS”. It is true we become what we focus on most of the time. Which is the reason why goals are so valuable. Most people are just GOING through life, instead of GROWING through life. People say there are two great days in a person’s life: the day you were born and the day you discover WHY!

When we set goals they should be big enough to stretch us to grow as a person. WE can’t achieve anything in life if we are not growing personally. Jim Rohn says, Success is attracted to the person YOU become. And so becoming a person of VALUE is key to attaining success in all facets of life. Your personal VALUE will determine your INCOME. You must see VALUE in yourself to add VAULE to yourself.

From personal trials and tribulation in my own life, I’ve learned you have to become “Growth Conscious vs Goal Conscious”. And as I learned from John Maxwell’s book, “How Successful People Grow”, he suggest that there is a distinctive difference between Growth Conscious and Goal Conscious. Maxwell states it this way:

Goal Consciousness:

-It focuses on a destination

-It motivates you and others

-it is seasonal

-It challenges you

-It stops when a goal is reached

Growth Consciousness:

-It focuses on the journey

-It matures you and others

-It is life long

-It changes you

-It keeps you growing beyond the goal

Growth is the goal. Focus on personally growing and becoming the person who can achieve the goals you want in your life. Whatever you don’t have now, is a direct reflection of who you’re not and need to become. Commit to personal mastery, daily studying, reading, lifelong learning in any field that you would like to become great in. The only way you WILL attain the goals you want for your life is to become a person of VALUE. Always remember, “In life, we don’t get what we WANT, we get what we DESERVE!”

Why Being HAPPY Is a CHOICE!

By Jernavis Draughn

I have learned through my trials and tribulations that being in a state of happiness is a CHOICE. How would you define happiness and what does happiness mean to you?

The dictionary defines the term happy as, “a feeling or showing pleasure or contentment.” Our society is fixated on quick fixes that lead to overnight success, therefore, we become obsessed with pleasure, and not happiness. Pleasure is a short term feeling while living in a state of happiness is accepting what we are because our life is meaningful.

One of the best books I have ever read on this topic is “Happier”, by Tal Ben Shahar which teaches us to learn the secrets to daily joy and lasting fulfillment. In his book he states, “Happy people live secure in the knowledge that the activities that bring them enjoyment in the present will also lead to a filling future.” He therefore defines happiness as the overall experience of pleasure and meaning.

This definition resonates with me on many levels. I have learned that happiness leads to more success, and that emotions causes motions. Your emotions always provide the motive behind every action. And your performance in anything you do is predicated on where you live emotionally. Experiencing positive emotions is necessary but not sufficient for happiness.

The goal is to create a meaningful life, which connects to having a sense of purpose for your life. There is a great quote that says, “We do not always get what we want in life, but we always get what we CHOOSE.” WE choose our purpose. For example, anyone who finds meaning and pleasure in his work, lives a more purposeful life. It is very important to clarify your purpose. As Robert Byrne says, “The purpose life is a life of purpose.

Here are five questions that helped me discover what truly provides happiness in my life. Take a few minutes to answer these questions below:

  1. How would you define happiness?
  2. What does happiness mean to you?
  3. The 5 things that make e HAPPY are?
  4. Why are you GRATEFUL for these 5 things in your life?
  5. What are your HAPPINESS boosters?

Quote of The Day: “Happiness is the meaning and purpose of life, the whole aim and end of human exstence!”-Aristotle