The Root Causes of Negative Emotions

By Jernavis Draughn

All behaviors are belief driven. Where do our behaviors and emotions stem from? We are a direct reflection of our home foundation and the environment we were raised in. Our peer groups, mentors, teachers, instructors, and coaches have left an imprint on our intrinsic personal landscape. We become who we hang out with most of the time. We pick up behaviors, habits and mindsets of the people closet to us. Angela Oswalt, who is a licensed clinical social worker explains during early childhood, children start to develop a “self-concept,” the attributes, abilities, attitudes and values that they believe define them. By age 3, (between 18 and 30 months), children have developed their Categorical Self, which is concrete way of viewing themselves in “this or that” labels. For example, young children label themselves in terms of age “child or adult”, gender “boy or girl”, physical characteristics “short or tall”, and value, “good or bad.” The labels are used to explain children’s self-concept in very concrete, observable terms.

Our self-concept, the preview of our identity is formed by 3 years old. With that being the case, the root causes of where our negative emotions are birthed, start from the time we are born. Over the course of our life, we pick up more baggage and beliefs that don’t serve us. In the book Get Smart, by Brian Tracy, he breaks down the 4 root causes of negative emotions.

  1. Rationalization. Negative emotions are created when we attempt to explain away a situation or behavior in our lives that is unpleasant for us. We rationalize things with excuses.
  1.  Justification. We justify our negative behaviors by explaining them away in some fashion, we tell ourselves we are entitled to experience this negative emotion, because of something that someone else has done to us or to someone else.
  1. Judgementalism. Some of our negative emotions come from our tendency to judge other people. We tend to judge others instead of self-reflecting within ourselves.
  1. Hypersensitivity. We are hypersensitive to the thoughts, feelings and behaviors of others. We see criticisms and problems where they don’t exist.

I’ve learned the key to limiting negative emotions, while improving your self-esteem, confidence, reliance, respect is to take full responsibility for everything you are and all you will become in life. Remember, “Life is always happening for you, not to you.” Accountability is the foundation of all emotional, spiritual, mental, physical and financial success. Forgive yourself first and then forgive everyone else you feel has hurt you in anyway. Life begins with FORGIVENESS. Negative emotions will always be there to make your day eventful. How you respond and react to those emotions, will determine how happy your life will be. 

Quote of the Day: “Don’t ever stop believing in your own transformation. It is still happening even on days you may not realize it or feel like it.” -Lalah Delia

BRANDING is your BUSINESS!

By Jernavis Draughn

Nothing clarifies like clarity. What does your brand echo to your clients or new prospects? What are your core values? Do your clients or teammates know what your brand stands for? In business today, your brand can build your business faster than your service or product will. The power of social media has created millions of what we call overnight successes directly from the impact of branding. I’m not saying all of these social media influencers are merely talented or skilled in a particular craft. I’m saying they have mastered consistency and the art of branding themselves in an area where people have bought in on their talents. Consistency creates credibility in building your brand or business.

Here’s the top five most valuable brands in the world, according to Brand Finance consultancy firm.

1. Amazon

2. Apple

3. Google

4. Samsung

5. Facebook

These companies have a history of value creation with a powerful brand awareness. These brands can be identified anywhere and defined by their services they provide. What separates these brands from others? First, these companies’ product and services provide consistent value where they have created raving fans as clients. Second, they all have created their own lane and have been labeled as the best at what they do or provide. I believe the character of the company will outweigh the credentials it receives. Only purposeful achievement is ultimately sustainable.

In the book Simply Brilliant by William C. Taylor, he explains there’s four pillars to creating a strategic and strong brand presence in your industry.

1. Point of view. They have a particular take on how they see the world. You believe your services or products will change the world in some capacity for the better.

2. Intensity. They offer an intense projection of who they are in everything they do. The company as a whole leads with their life, by living what they believe in.

3. Salience. They are highly intrusive. You cannot notice their activity even if not actively looking in their direction. The brand is intentionally impactful on all platforms.

4. Built on a Rock. They assert a compelling conviction that the stance they are taking is one that is uniquely theirs.

Here’s the question you should ask yourself if you’re in business now. “If you weren’t you would you do business with YOU?” What discerns if a business will go from average too good to great is the vision the company has and the purpose behind what drives the vision forward. If I can pass anything along to anyone currently in business or wants to start a business would be, start with your “WHY”. I’ve learned if your why is powerful the how is easy. That will be your driving force when you’re faced with adversity. Lastly, you must believe that your product or service will make the world a better place. Our behaviors are belief driven, so if you don’t believe in something strong enough, you will quit before you even start. Your brand breathes life into your business. Focus on the purpose of your brand and business will thrive in the essence of clarity.

Quote of the Day: “It takes 20 years to build a reputation and five minutes to ruin it. If you think about that, you’ll do things differently.” – Warren Buffett

The 4 Keys to Self Confidence

By Jernavis Draughn

Confidence is the foundation to success in all facets of our life. How you do anything is how you do everything. We tend to believe that confidence comes and goes by choice. We live who we BELIEVE we are. So your self-confidence is connected to your personal identity. Therefore, our identity drives our behavior. Every action we take or doesn’t take is connected to the confidence that we innately have about ourselves. Our CONFIDENCE is shaped by the impact that we have on the world through the size of our goals, and the success of our personal vision for our life.

Where does our self-confidence originate? The answer is from our upbringing, family members, coaches, friends, teachers, music, movies and television. We are seriously affected by what we see. If were raised in a household that labels us as shy or an introvert, we tend to carry that identity with us as we grow older. If we are labeled by coaches as the best athlete on the team, we tend to display and hold that belief. This belief is increased as the coach gives more positive praises, and allows us to take more risk in the game than other players. In school if were labeled as the smart kid in class, we accept that label as a reflection of who we are, based off the belief of our teacher. The human race has been labeled since the beginning of mankind. As I always say, hopefully, it is the label that truly defines you.

Confidence is the corner stone to leadership. In order to keep bad influences from affecting us, we need to create a positive identity about ourselves that doesn’t connect to those negative vices that people or environments invite upon us. I finished a good read by Dean Graziosi, called “Millionaire Success Habits”. Dean discusses how success is connected to our self-confidence. Below are four keys to how I grew my self-confidence over the years. Check them out below:

  1. Courage. It’s not the absence of fear, but the ability to take action in the face of fear. Fear stunts our growth. The courage to take action is true freedom, which builds our self-confidence.

2. Commitment. There’s no lasting success without commitment. Foundations of success starts with our daily habits and rituals. You have to be committed to make success a routine. Commitment makes others believers which increases your confidence to keep going.

3. Belief/Faith (JD). Without belief or faith you won’t START. Faith starts with believing in the impossible. Success in anything is always belief driven. When you truly believe, no one can deter you from your journey.

4. Purpose (JD). I believe our purpose produces our profits. Purpose pushes you through the pain of failure and helps you become a better version of yourself. True confidence is built through enduring adversity.

 Self-Confidence inspires you to start when no one else believes. It keeps you focus, grounded, faithful, hopeful, visualizing, praying, understanding, learning and growing when times get rough. I believe these four keys to growing your self-confidence will help you reach your full potential in every aspect of life; relationships, career, business, spiritually, mentally, financially, physically and emotionally. Without confidence the journey of life will never start.

Quote of the Day: “The difference between who you are and who you want to be is what you DO.”-Bill Phillips